'Til I Hit Face First on A Rocky Bottom
It wasn't 'til I hit face first on a rocky bottom that I realized that I had completely lost myself. I had been tiptoeing around, waiting on others to say yes so that I could begin my schedule. MY SCHEDULE. But it seemed to be someone else's. Being thrown away in a lost land where I didn't know where to begin was the best thing for me, but I didn't know it to be true. My heart had been torn here and shredded yonder, and I was left with one morsel of cardiac tissue. I searched far and wide for every little piece, but it was absolutely impossible. I ran around and around lost in time and trapped within. I couldn't see the day, the night, and definitely not my own hand that was right in front of me. My screaming and crying were inaudible, and I could no longer feel my pain. Was I alive? Was I deceased? Yes and no. I was alive, but I had lost so much of me that my vessel was almost empty of ME. I had no job, no friends, no love, no hope at all. How could I leave myself like that? Why did I run away from the only person that truly understands me? One day in an instant, I picked myself walked over to the mirror, and said, "THIS. Stops now! No more crying!" It took a lot of prayer, breathing, and writing to get me to my present situation. My life is not perfect, but I have mad love for myself and so much respect and encouragement for me as well. I'm truly thankful that I found myself. I love you Bitty!!