You're Worth It!: Equality of the Standards

Some people have these high expectations for others, but they're not willing to comply with their own or the expectations of others. How does one think that's okay? In the world today, there are too many followers of the double standard!

The double standard isn't necessarily solely in romantic relationships. They often happen in platonic or business relationships as well. I want to give you a couple of accounts for when it happened to me, and how I dealt with each accordingly.

Mr. Expection

So Mr. Expectation aka my ex-boyfriend, always expected me to communicate with him. Now that's my fault because I didn't initially set any boundaries in our relationship. HUGE MISTAKE! If you don't set any boundaries in the beginning, it is very hard to change things when you just start ordering around your expectations. Be clear and concise. Anyway, I hated having to make all of the moves in the relationship. Initiating calls, texts, and even scheduling when to hangout or go on a date. It was so draining, because I was the only one putting forth effort in the relationship. When I decided to allow him to text me, he'd either text me like 5 days later or I'd give in. If we didn't communicate, it was my fault. It ended in him breaking up with me. I was distraught, because all of my investment was taken for granted and for nothing. It took me a while to get over it, but I now I'm completely over that guy and the situation.

Sisters Expectation

Let me give a shout out to a couple of friends that have always had my back and vise versa: Keonna, Jessica, Symoné, and Megan! If I didn't name you, it's not because I forgot you. I just need to move on with this story. Love y'all! 😘😘😘

Anyway, I had a set of friends that I'd had since High School. We were still hanging out when I was in college. I took a break from school, got a awesome paying job, and hung out with them in my free time. They both worked, but one of them was always broke, because of bills. I completely understood her situation, so if I ate, she ate. I mean, that's what friends do. And the other friend would pay for her to go places as well. When I was low on funds and the broke one had money, I always had to pay her back. Even after never making her pay me for the countless lunches, dinners, snacks, gas, etc. that I had provided her with. And the other one would invite me out to eat or to the movies and if I didn't have the money, she'd be like "I wish you could come... Maybe next time." She expected me to get her when she was a few dollars short and I did, but couldn't do the same.

Please learn from my mistakes. Set boundaries and expectations in the beginning of any relationship. Don't allow people to run over you, use you or toy with your emotions. If you let them, they will. You need to stand up for yourself, because you are worth the respect. You deserve way better than maltreatment. Pick yourself up, and learn to love yourself. Self love and self worth are very essential to live a happy and healthy life.

Be beautiful! Be assertive, and love yourself!

XOXO,

B. Ieisha

Don't forget to read part 1 and part 2.

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